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Hello everyone. How are you guys? I have such a special episode for you guys today because it is a real life example of how you can become a healthier person. So here’s the background. The other day I was in the kitchen and my son Aiden, who is 15, was cleaning out the pantry. He started pulling out like bags of like chips, crackers, all this stuff that he used to like snacking on. And he says to me, like, I’m throwing these out. I don’t eat unhealthy like that anymore. And I was like, hang on, what? I don’t eat unhealthy like that anymore. That sentence like just stuck with me. He was talking, he wasn’t talking about a diet. He wasn’t quoting a macro plan or a coach. He was telling me who he is now. And that one sentence is the basis of the entire episode today. Because if you’ve ever set a health goal, hit a wall, and wondered why willpower just ran out, I think I know why. And it’s not about willpower at all. Welcome to the 925 Wellness Podcast, where we talk about what it actually takes to build a healthier life without blowing up your career in the process. I’m your host, Aisha Tahir, and today we’re talking about identity and why changing who you believe you are is the single most underused tool in your health goal tools. So let’s dive right in. My son has been working on changing his body composition. Nothing dramatic. He just got a little lazy and, you know, wasn’t paying attention to what he’s eating. And now he’s becoming more consistent with his training, paying attention to the food that he eats, trying to build some muscle and drop some fat percentage. Pretty normal goals. And honestly, this is one of the most common goals. This is one of the most common goals I hear about in my work as an exercise physiologist with my patients and with my corporate professionals too. And a few weeks into this, he’s cleaning out the pantry, not because I asked him to, not because it was a Sunday meal prep ritual, which is kind of like my thing to do. Just on his own decided the chips and the crackers and the sugary stuff didn’t belong in there anymore. And here’s the line that stopped me. I don’t eat unhealthy like that anymore. Now, if you listen closely to the grammar of the sentence, it’s not future tense. It’s not that I’m trying to stop. It’s not I’m not allowed to. It’s present tense stated as a fact about who he already is. That’s it. I want to repeat that because this is a fact that he stated about who he already is, he has become. Compare that to what most of us say when we are trying to change something. I’m trying to eat better. I am on a diet. I’m supposed to have that right now. Or worse, I shouldn’t eat that or drink that much. Every one of those phrases keeps the old identity fully intact and just bolts a temporary and just bolts a temporary rule on top of it. And just bolts a temporary rule on top of it. My son didn’t bolt on a rule. He rewrote the self-description. And once I heard it, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much research and behavior change backs up exactly what he stumbled into by himself, you know, on his own, probably without even realizing what he was doing or what he was saying, right? Let’s talk about why this actually works because I don’t want this to just be like a nice story for you guys. I want you to be able to use it for establishing your identity as a healthy person. The first point that I want to make with you guys is most people try to change behavior first and hope that their identity catches up later. Now, think about how a typical health goal usually starts. Eat less, move more, follow the meal plan, hit your step count, and for a while it works. Because you’re running on motivation and a fresh sense of commitment. But motivation is not a stable resource. It dips, works gets stressful, a deadline hits, a kid gets sick, maybe you get sick yourself, and suddenly the plan feels optional because the person doing the new behaviors still sees themselves as the same person who has always struggled with this. The behavior was never anchored to anything. It was floating on top of willpower, and willpower runs out. So I just want you to remember that changing your identity is probably one of the most important steps that you can take. And then behavior actually follows up with it. Okay. Now, second point that I want to make over here is this that rules require negotiation. Identity requires consistency with yourself. That’s it. You don’t have to negotiate. You don’t have to negotiate who you’re becoming again and again. Here’s the exhausting part about following the rules. Every single decision becomes a negotiation. Should I have this? Shouldn’t I? Maybe just this once, please. I’ll start again Monday. I’ll start on Friday. That negotiation happens dozens of times a week, and for some people, like dozens of times a day. And each one costs you mental energy, which you have a limited amount of. That’s decision fatigue. And if you have ever felt like you had the discipline in the morning, but lost it by 3 p.m. in a meeting with donuts on the table, or maybe, you know, chips and salsa and chips and guac on the table, that’s exactly what’s happening. You’re not weak in the afternoon. You have been negotiating throughout the day and maybe doing too much of it already. Now picture the identity version of you: a person who doesn’t eat like that anymore. They walk past the donuts, there’s no negotiation. It’s the same reason a non-smoker doesn’t stand around debating whether to bum a cigarette or not. It’s simply not a live option for them. They’re like, no, I don’t smoke. I’ve never smoked. I’ve never touched a cigarette before. And that’s it. You’re like, well, that’s not a live option for me. The decision was already made, I don’t know, many months ago or maybe years ago when they were in high school. And that decision was made at the identity level, not like 50 times a day at the behavior level. So remember that every time you have to make a choice or a decision to eat healthily or eat healthy foods, and you’re trying to negotiate with yourself every single time, guess what? That is leading you to making unhealthy decisions because decision fatigue is gonna set in. And I don’t know if it’s gonna set in for you at 3 p.m. or if it’s gonna set in for you at 12 p.m. or if it’s gonna set in what on your drive to home, or if it’s gonna set in when you walk through those doors to enter your home. Now, last thing I want you to understand about identity shift and becoming a healthy person as being your identity is that every action becomes a vote for who you’re becoming. And I got this concept from James Clear, who is one of my favorite authors. His book, The Atomic Habits, it’s, I think at this point, has sold like probably way over a million copies, but it’s totally worth looking into. He’s such a great author. And I believe this is the part that I think we miss so much, especially in corporate wellness conversations. When you cook the meal, when you take the walk, when you clean out the pantry, that’s not just progress towards some future number on a scale. It’s not the weight reduction, right? You’re not looking for weight reduction or a body composition goal. It’s evidence. It’s a vote cast for a new self-image. And here’s the thing about votes: one vote doesn’t decide an election, but enough of them do. Enough small actions and the identity stops being an aspiration and becomes the default lens you see yourself through. It moves from this is what I’m forcing myself to do to this is who I am. And that’s why my son’s comment landed the way it did. He wasn’t announcing a diet change. He was telling me without meaning to who he had already decided to become. Now let’s dive into this because this matters especially for busy professionals, for corporate professionals who are my listeners, who are you guys, right? So I want to bring this back to you, the audience of this podcast specifically, because if you’re listening to the 925 Wellness podcast, you’re probably juggling a career, a calendar full of meetings, maybe a family, and health is one more thing competing for bandwidth. So if you have your career, you have meetings going on all day, you have a family to provide for or to take care of, and health is one more thing competing for your bandwidth. How will you juggle all of this? And here’s why the identity approach matters more, not less, more when you’re busy. If your health habits are built on willpower and rules, they are the first thing to go. That is what’s gonna break when your job gets demanding, when something comes up for your family. Deadline week hits and the workout is the thing that gets thrown out. Yes, it is the thing that’s gonna get skipped. Because it was never anchored, it was just uh should. I should exercise two days a week. You didn’t stop being a person who works out, you never fully became the person in the first place. So it was easy to let go. Now, here’s why this is so important, and I want you to kind of like bookmark this next part that I’m gonna say. Resilience in the face of challenges comes from an identity shift. Resilience in the face of challenges comes in form of identity shift. Health journeys come with setbacks. A healthy identity fosters resilience, helping you view obstacles as temporary hurdles, whether it’s getting back to the gym after a break or choosing better foods after indulgence. This mindset supports perseverance. When the identity is the anchor, the habit doesn’t compete with your job. It becomes part of how you operate under pressure. It’s just part of your day. You start saying to yourself, I train. That’s it. I train, I exercise, and that is the part of you that doesn’t get renegotiated during a hard week. The same way for your work, you don’t keep negotiating, oh, I’m gonna show up to the meeting, or I’m not gonna show up to the meeting. You’re not negotiating that during a hard week. You’re just showing up. It’s just part of your operating system. Same way, exercise or your training can also become part of your operating system. Eating healthy can also become part of your operating system. I see this constantly in corporate wellness work that I do. The professionals who sustain change over years, not weeks, aren’t the ones with the most impressive meal plan. They’re the ones who at some point stopped saying, I’m trying to get healthy, and started saying, I’m a healthy person. Even a little before it felt fully earned. Yes, you don’t have to earn it. That is another misconception I keep on coming across with my patients. Oh, I have to earn it. I have to earn it. No, you don’t. And this is like a very important nuance. So let’s sit with it for a second. Identity doesn’t have to be a hundred percent true for it to start working. You can fake it till you make it. Yes, that is right. You don’t have to wait until you have achieved the goal to claim the identity. You claim the identity first, and the achievement follows as evidence. That’s the flip you need. Because you know what? A healthy identity shifts your perspective. Healthy choices become empowering. And I know we all feel so restrictive on healthy food, um, not being able to socialize, not being able to eat what’s at the parties. And I know it. I have been there, and a lot of my clients who I work with are going through it right now. So I know the struggle, but healthy choice becomes empowering if you shift your identity. You begin to enjoy nutritious foods, find joy in exercise, and you appreciate the clarity that comes from prioritizing sleep and mindfulness. Okay, so let’s just summarize this how to actually do this. Let’s get practical because I don’t want to leave you with just a nice idea and just talk at you with all this information. I want to leave you with something you can use like tomorrow morning. So here are a few tips and prompts for you. The first one is actually a question or a prompt that I think you should ask yourself. Most of us wake up and ask, what should I do today? That question itself puts you in negotiation mode immediately. If you don’t know what you’re gonna eat for breakfast, if you don’t know what you’re gonna get for lunch today, guess what? You’re deciding, you’re negotiating already. Should I work out? Should I skip it? Should I order lunch? Should I door dash it? Or should I take something healthy from home? So instead start asking, what would the healthy version of me do today? Now that question routes the decision through identity instead of willpower. Let the identity make the call. Let the identity answer the question, not the mood you woke up in. Okay. So that’s the first question that I want you to keep it centered wh whenever you’re like trying to make a decision, right? So secondly, speak it in present tense, out loud, even before it feels fully true to you. I train, I don’t skip workouts, I eat the this way now, I eat healthy now. Notice, none of those are hopeful statements, they’re declarations, just like my son. You can just say it plainly in the middle of an ordinary task when you’re thinking about that. I eat healthy, so I am gonna get a salad from the cafeteria. Right? That’s actually the most powerful way it works when it’s not a big performance, just a quiet fact you state about yourself. And I know this feels a little um uncomfortable at first, and I understand that. Maybe even a little like you’re lying to yourself. That’s discomfort at normal. You’re just bridging the gap between your self-image currently and where your actions are heading. The discomfort fades as the evidence builds. Thirdly, give the identity small wins to point to. This is the piece that makes the language actually stick instead of just being a slogan. Confidence in the new identity. It isn’t built from intention, it’s built from a track record. So don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Pick one small, repeatable action, one workout you don’t skip, one meal you plan ahead, one habit change that’s small enough to actually win consistently. Every time you follow through, that’s a vote in the bank. So here’s the sequence, one more time, because I want it to stick. Body composition is downstream of behavior, behavior change is downstream of identity. If you try to fix the outcome directly, you’re working from the bottom of the chain, fighting an uphill battle the whole way. But if you get the identity right at the top, the behavior and the outcome, it starts to fall. Not effortlessly, but without the constant internal fight. So I want to leave you with the question I’ve been asking myself since that day in the kitchen. Not what’s my goal, but who am I already becoming? And does that match who I want to be in six months or who I want to be in a year? Because your kids, your coworkers, your own future self, maybe. Somebody around you might say a sentence just like my son did, almost by accident. He honestly didn’t know what he was saying. And it’ll tell you everything about where they’re headed. The question is, whether your own sentences, the ones you say about yourself, yes, in your head, how much do we talk in our head about ourselves to ourselves? So whether you’re saying it out loud to other people or to yourself, or you’re saying it in your head, are describing the person you’re trying to become, or just describing the person you’ve always been. Now, I have a favor to ask of you. If this episode gave you something to think about, do me a favor, share it with someone who’s in the middle of a health goal right now, and they could use the reframe. They could help understand why they need to change their identity first. And if you want more of these conversations about building a healthier body and career without burning out and chasing it, hit follow and subscribe to the 925 Wellness podcast wherever you’re listening. Thank you so much for listening today. Until next time, go vote for who you’re becoming. Bye.